So it's been a while but I haven't given up. It's been a long semester and I have alot to update. I may have to come back and edit this. I'm also typing this on my iPod so excuse any typos and my horrible punctuation lol....
I have become alot better at handling my negative feelings. Ive been able to not express it so much but what I need to learn to do is really let it go. What happens is anything negative just gets swept under the rug. My problem is that there is only so much you can sweep under a rug. I know that what I need to learn how to do is release it in a healthy way so that I can be open to peace. When I figure that part out i will be okay.
I also changed my major. Rick Scott (FL governor) is really scaring me with what he's doing with Florida's education system. Although teaching is something I really want to do, it's not really encouraging when it seems that no one in power is doing what's best for our students or teachers for that matter. I'm still going to get my teacher certification but in case teaching doesn't pan out for me like I plan I had to change to a degree program that will give me options to go in another direction if I need to. I changed to Interdisciplinary Studies. I have 2 concentrations: one in education and the other in life/biomedical sciences, and a minor: African american studies. I just dont want to be limited by having such a specific degree. It was science education before I changed it. I felt like it would limit me to the education field only. People keep saying I don't have to teach in Florida but I don't know how I feel about moving out of state.
By changing my major I only have 13 classes to take before I graduate!! So basically if I take classes this summer, the full school year, and next summer, I'll be done! I will be graduating for sure in about a year! That's pretty exciting fo me. I never thought I would make it this far and my dreams are becoming a reality! The other day I said to someone that I must be lucky to have accomplished my dreams. After I realized what I said and really thought about it, it's really not luck. I know that everything I've done has been through God's grace. Nobody can stand in front of me with a straight face and tell me that God is not real!!! My whole life is proof that He is real!! Sometimes I get to thinking that I don't deserve all of this. I'm not special. I'm no different that anyone else who is from where I'm from. I'm no different from anyone else that has the same problems I do. That's how I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life!
I really didn't know what to expect from this chapter in my life as far a being in college. I'm feeling the same way about the next chapter once graduation comes and goes. I have alot of questions but I guess that's part of my journey to me with discovering who I am. At the end of the day I just want to be great and do great things. I want to be remembered for the lives that I will someday change.
Reading my posts from December until now, I can see the growth within myself. I hope that it radiates outward and encourages someone else on their journey!
~LaDai
