Journey to Me

I started a private journal a couple days ago. My mission is to be a more open person with the people all around me. I keep so much inside and recently I got to a point where I realized that's not healthy for me at all. So, I'm beginning my journey by journaling whenever something bothers me. I've decided to incorporate pieces of that into my blog so that I can open up in more than one way and to different people, whereever you are reading this.

The first entry:

"You were such a great guy to me; you came along doing things that no one had ever done for me before. I was selfish, not thinking of what I needed to do to be good to you. I’m just now realizing that and it may be too late. But I can say that I have learned a lot and that’s all that matters. I’m hoping that I can take what I’ve learned and apply it to my next relationship. All I can say is that I am glad for all the time that we have spent together getting to know one another."

The second one, I wrote last night.

"...and all these things I ask of him and ask him to be, I am willing to do the same in return and be the same to him.
I will love him for the person he is. I will love him past all of his flaws, past every wall he has around his heart. I will knock those walls down so that I can have the real him, flaws and all. I know he won’t be perfect, but he will be perfect for me and I will love him for that!
I will love him through everything."

~LaDai

All I Want For Christmas...

That is it! I'd be the happiest girl alive :)

*photo courtesy of Victoria's Secret official website*

~LaDai

Your house, Your rules

There are certain things in my life that, even now as a 20 year old, I still don't understand. The first thing that comes to mind when I say that is my parents' rules at home. Through middle school and high school, I was always that kid who's parents knew every single move I made. I believe that's how it should be anyway, but no matter how old I got, it still remained the same. Alot of the rules are unsaid, they've never really been established as so, it's just something that is understood in order to keep the peace.

For example, even when I go home on breaks, such as this coming Christmas break, there's never a time where it's acceptable for me to just leave the house and not say anything to anyone about where I'm going. I've tested it. It does not work! For safety reasons, of course, it makes sense. When I think of myself as an adult living in a house with other adults, you would think it wouldn't be an issue no matter how close or far I'm going. However, in a sense of me as their offspring, no matter how old I get, as long as I'm dependent on them, it's one of those unspoken rules that will always be in place.

There are other things that work the same way, and although I don't quite understand it...the point I'm making here is that some things should be done to simply keep the peace. There's nothing I can or can't do that causes a disturbance. If it keeps a happy balance, then I'm all for it!

~LaDai