Natural Hair

Wow, it's been SO long since I have updated my blog. This post is going to be about hair. Let's get right to it....

"We don't go natural, we return. Natural is where it began!"

I went natural December 23rd, 2013. I didn't plan on transitioning to go natural, but retrospectively I transitioned for a few months before cutting the relaxed ends off. I had a haircut and my last relaxer in May of that year. I was letting my cut grow out and never got another relaxer. So, by December, my new growth was pretty wild and hard to tame. I was getting tired of washing, blow drying, and flat ironing the two textures. During winter break, I decided I wasn't going to be stuck doing my hair the entire time. I cut the relaxed ends off. I have never felt so free!

The picture below is from the day I cut my hair! It wasn't perfect, but I was happy to be free lol...

I have had it cut and shaped a couple times since then. I have been a little scissor happy with trimming my own ends. I need my ends trimmed one more time and then I'll leave it alone!

This is my hair as of last week! My shrinkage is crazy, but this is what it looks like when it's stretched a bit. I don't use a lot of heat, but once in a while, I'll flat iron it and wear it until shrinkage gets the best of me lol...

Okay, that's my little hair story lol... I'll be back soon!

Dai

I love me!

I think this is a pretty common topic for anybody across the board. It's really important to love yourself. I say that because although I am a very self-confident person, I realize that not everybody has that same confidence. Whether someone has made them feel bad about themselves or they are too critical of their own flaws, there are people out there, girls in particular, that struggle with self- confidence. I'm not saying that males don't struggle with this issue, I can just relate to it from a female point of view for obvious reasons...

We all have flaws, but what I learned while I was younger, is that you have to take those flaws and love them! I will use body image as a specific example. Everybody has something that they don't like about their body, even the most confident people. The difference is learning to love and embrace those flaws and becoming accepting of yourself no matter what. People want to change themselves so bad and there are billion dollar industries (plastic surgery) that feed off of those insecurities. What you have to learn is that your flaws make you who you are, they make you YOU!

If you can't love yourself past your own flaws, whether it has to do with your body image or just what you think of yourself in general, then no one else will love you. There are people out there who are so insecure about themselves that they feed off of others' insecurities to temporarily make themselves feel better and it's just sad. In feeling good about yourself, you give someone else the strength and courage to look on the inside and find something good about them as well.

We all need to find something positive about ourselves and let it shine. And the things we don't like, we need to take hold of it and just own it, learn to love it. When we do that, we free ourselves from our own limitations of what we think we can or can't do or what we should and should not look like. Every one, every body is different. Love yourself for who you are!

~LaDai

Journey to Me

I was just thinking about independence day and what it means to me. I decided to brush up on my history and read about the historical importance of today: the American Revolution, the Declaration of independence and what it meant as far as solidifying the United States as an independent country. Then I made an important decision, I am truly proud to be an an American.

Saying this out loud sounded weird to me. I have probably only said this phrase less than a handful of times in my life (that I can recall): September 11, 2001, President Obama's inauguration,...and today. And then I thought about it. How many times have I said to anyone, "I am American"? I'm black, yes. But, American? I'm not so sure. Does the fact that I was born in America make me American? Sure. If I was born in Germany, I guess I'd be German. *shrugs* What does it truly mean to be American? The few times I can recall telling anyone I'm American was meeting a group of people from the Caribbean and the first question is "What are you?" (Jamaican, Lucian, Bahamian, etc.) I would reply (as I identified myself), "I'm black," and someone would politely say, "No, where are you from?" "Florida!" LOL...I never really thought of myself as American. That's not really what comes to mind first as far as how I identify myself.

I am American and proud!

Journey to Me

Well, I haven't had much going on lately...

A couple weeks ago, I had a revelation about myself, just some unhealthy habits that needed to be changed. I am currently working on that. So here it is...I wrote this on Christmas Eve:

"I’m trying my best to take a healthy approach to changing this. I want to be a more open person, able to share my feelings and what I’m going through, be more understanding of others, as well as empathetic. I think that by changing my emotional process, I’ll be able to deal with the things that stress me out or irritate me in a healthier manner without damaging any of my relationships with the people around me. I just want to be a happier person overall and strengthen relationships that I have with my friends."

Everyone makes a New Year Resolution, so for the New Year or not (mainly, just in general) this is my new motto for just living a more positive life:

I release all feelings of negativity from within and open myself to everything of love, joy, and peace.

You are welcome to use that also if it is going to help in your own life. I was in church one night and it just hit me that what I need to do most is to just learn to let go of the things that aren't going to do me any good, which in any case would be negative feelings, thoughts, actions, and habits!

~LaDai

Journey to Me

I started a private journal a couple days ago. My mission is to be a more open person with the people all around me. I keep so much inside and recently I got to a point where I realized that's not healthy for me at all. So, I'm beginning my journey by journaling whenever something bothers me. I've decided to incorporate pieces of that into my blog so that I can open up in more than one way and to different people, whereever you are reading this.

The first entry:

"You were such a great guy to me; you came along doing things that no one had ever done for me before. I was selfish, not thinking of what I needed to do to be good to you. I’m just now realizing that and it may be too late. But I can say that I have learned a lot and that’s all that matters. I’m hoping that I can take what I’ve learned and apply it to my next relationship. All I can say is that I am glad for all the time that we have spent together getting to know one another."

The second one, I wrote last night.

"...and all these things I ask of him and ask him to be, I am willing to do the same in return and be the same to him.
I will love him for the person he is. I will love him past all of his flaws, past every wall he has around his heart. I will knock those walls down so that I can have the real him, flaws and all. I know he won’t be perfect, but he will be perfect for me and I will love him for that!
I will love him through everything."

~LaDai

Proud of Myself!

So tonight my friends were really on me about going out! They were like "you should really come out with us, you'll have so much fun, you'll have such a good time" and all that. But I had to say no!

I'm down to just a week left until spring break and I've really done a good job of standing by what I said I would do! Why would I give up NOW when I've come so far? I found a new level of strength in that moment also. To be in front of my closest friends and still be able to say no and stay true to myself. My parents raised me to think for myself and be my own person. I'm not going to give in to what other people say no matter what the situation is.

I just had to put some positivity out there saying I'm proud of myself for this!

~LaDai

2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore if anyman be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new."
-KJV
_______________________________________________

So I've had a slip in my fast. I know it happened, but I've been sitting on it and really trying to re-evaluate things for myself and figure out what I can do to really strengthen myself in and through this fast. In the bigger picture, if I can stay faithful to this fast, I can do anything and it's just few steps on my spritual journey, but it really matters.

I'm coming to see that partying is really my vice. I really enjoy it. It's a good release to me after a long week of hard work. BUT... like I said before, it's become a distraction so I'm trying to cut it out for a while. I partied twice this past weekend. But I got a good message tonight that I believe has definitely given me more strength to make it through the time period I said I wouldn't party (until Sprink Break).

So I was at this event tonight and the theme was "Living Faithful in an Unfaitful Environment". It definitely put in perspective what I'm trying to accomplish with this fast, and made that picture clear to me. I know what steps I need to put in place and become accountable for what situations I put myself into that will lead to the success (or failure) of my goal. I will share this for anyone maybe going through the same thing of just trying to stay focused on a goal or anything else you want to do to become a better person.

The question asked was basically "What kind of person would I be if I were truly faithful?" You can apply that to any aspect of your life: in school, in a relationship with someone or your relationship with God, a friendship, or even just within yourself. The speaker used Proverbs 3:5-6 to paint this picture. He was saying that we must have visions for ourselves and our lives, particularly about who we want to become as a person. In our walk in faith, not turning away from God, His presence will give us the power, love, peace, and strength to accomplish those things.

If I am truly faithful to God and to myself in this fast, I will make it through with no problem. Of course it's not going to be easy. With anything we, as imperfect humans, strive to accomplish, we'll always have setbacks. It's what we do in the setback, in that moment of darkness, that defines who we truly are. In this setback I know that there are steps that I need to put in place so that I can enjoy success in the long run.

First thing I want to do is to become prepared. Before I set out on my fast I didn't really prepare for what I would do if I were to be in a situation where I'd be conflicted. I know I'm on this fast, I'm trying not to party so I have to remove myself from the situations where someone says "Okay what do ya'll want to do? Ya'll wanna get a bottle or head downtown?" Nope. LaDai wants to go home n chill. So then I can say, "Okay ya'll go out n have a good time. Call me in the morning, tell me all about it." I didn't have that mental preparation before. I believe I do now.

Second thing I want to do is stay consistent. With anything I do, I never want to say one thing and do another. If I can't stay true to my fast, I'm not staying true to myself and thusandsuch [yes, I did say thusandsuch lol], how can you expect me to stay true to you as a friend or anything else? So, I have got to get my actions and words to stay consistent in this vision of who I am aiming to become.

The third step in this is to stay optimistic and realistic. In any goal, a person has to be optimistic and realistic in what they want to accomplish. Specifically with my fast, I know I'm not just going to stop partying and never party again. I just have to learn moderation. Cutting it out for a while, helps me to accomplish this. As far as being realistic, I started off saying I wouldn't party all semester. That's not realistic for me, so I shortened to Spring Break with the intention of partying in moderation any time after that!

Lastly, knowing who I am and what works for LaDai is my last step in being successful at this fast. This step ties in with the 3rd one as far as being realistic. I know what works for me and I just have to stay steadfast and true to myself and success is mine to claim!

~LaDai

Soon To Be Happily Nappy

So I'm finally back to do my next post. Umm I don't really know what I want to write about in specific, but I'm just gonna type away...

So I think it started when I was 12 or 13 when I noticed my hair was "different". I was the little girl in 6th grade still getting my hair washed and straightened with a hotcomb weekly. It was then that I was made to feel bad about not having a perm. The other girls in class teased me because my hair was nappy. I thought the hotcomb was something every girl went through and was still going through at that stage in life. I finally gave in to the pressure. Not just the peer pressure, but the societal pressures that say straight hair is "good" hair. I was made to feel that my nappy hair was a bad thing. I would go home crying from the hurt I felt from the other girls. I remember BEGGING my mother for a perm. It was then that I became a victim to the "creamy crack". But I was "happy" because I finally fit in. The teasing stopped because my hair was finally less than what it was meant to be. I never thought twice about my hair being nappy. I was happy.

Ever since then, I haven't been able to get off the perm. I've always felt like I would just feel better, feel free, if my hair was natural. I've tried many times to transition to natural, but part of me can't let go of this relaxed mess I call hair. My mom has been natural multiple times so I know it's in me to do the same without being scared. I don't know what it is that can't let it go. I feel like going natural would definitely be a process of not only transitioning, but of self rediscovery. I'm definitely ready to discover new things about myself and my hair.

Right now I'm rocking a short haircut. I would say it's a bit 90's-Halle-ish, but I've worked it for my style and it works for me. Everytime I get it cut, I go shorter and shorter, and feel better about going natural. One day I'm just gonna cut it all off and be done with it!

I know that so many other women can relate. So here's to beginning anew and discovering who we are! (Someday) I'll be Happily Nappy!

~LaDai