Journey to Me

I was just thinking about independence day and what it means to me. I decided to brush up on my history and read about the historical importance of today: the American Revolution, the Declaration of independence and what it meant as far as solidifying the United States as an independent country. Then I made an important decision, I am truly proud to be an an American.

Saying this out loud sounded weird to me. I have probably only said this phrase less than a handful of times in my life (that I can recall): September 11, 2001, President Obama's inauguration,...and today. And then I thought about it. How many times have I said to anyone, "I am American"? I'm black, yes. But, American? I'm not so sure. Does the fact that I was born in America make me American? Sure. If I was born in Germany, I guess I'd be German. *shrugs* What does it truly mean to be American? The few times I can recall telling anyone I'm American was meeting a group of people from the Caribbean and the first question is "What are you?" (Jamaican, Lucian, Bahamian, etc.) I would reply (as I identified myself), "I'm black," and someone would politely say, "No, where are you from?" "Florida!" LOL...I never really thought of myself as American. That's not really what comes to mind first as far as how I identify myself.

I am American and proud!

Happy Independence Day !

Thanks to the men who were brave enough throughout the American Revolution to establish our freedoms...and the soldiers today who fight to protect them!!


I haven't posted in a while. I'm on so many different social networking sites (facebook, twitter, tumblr, this one..I think that's it lol), I figured I share enough of myself everywhere else. I've kind of neglected my blog, which is the one place where I feel like I can share my inner thoughts without worrying about a stupid character limit. Alot has changed and happened since my last post in April...

I talked about the change of major. I'm currently considering my options and trying to put together a plan for what I'd like to do after graduation in December 2012. I have recently opened up to the idea of teaching out of state. I have currently added Texas, North Carolina, and Georgia to the list of places I wouldn't mind moving to. I'd have someone I know, either family or a family friend, in each of those places. If moving can't happen for me, I'm working on making it a possibility to teach at the high school I went to. I've been trying to meet with someone to make sure I'm qualified and see what openings they may have within the next year or so. I'm realistic about the cuts in education and the fact that it may not be as easy as it sounds to get a job as a teacher. My dad proposed the idea of me joining the Navy, which I almost did right out of high school. I'm not opposed to that, but that option is only if I can't find a job within 6 months after graduation (gotta get those student loans paid!) OR if I do start teaching and maybe it isn't exactly right for me. The biggest pro for me about the Navy is that if/when I get my Master's degree, I have a sure way to pay for it without taking out anymore loans or living like a broke college student again. I just know that whatever happens after graduation, I'll be FINE!

I've also had ridiculous amounts of roommate drama. Living with friends can either go great or horrible. We've had some great times, but boy when things are bad, they're BAD. I don't really care to get into what happened.

I don't know what else there is to say. Life is good right now. Summer classes started about a week ago and are going well so far, despite how much work it is. No one said it would be easy. Once the summer term is over, I have 11 classes until I'm finished! It feels good to have come this far! This school year is going to be a lot of work. Depending on how I work my schedule, I could graduate as early as next summer. By December of next year, I'll for sure be finished!

As always, thanks for reading!

~LaDai

My Tumblr

I have started posting here http://vivalaladi.tumblr.com/ I haven't abandoned this blog, but for more frquent updates, that's where you can find me!

Journey to Me

So it's been a while but I haven't given up. It's been a long semester and I have alot to update. I may have to come back and edit this. I'm also typing this on my iPod so excuse any typos and my horrible punctuation lol....

I have become alot better at handling my negative feelings. Ive been able to not express it so much but what I need to learn to do is really let it go. What happens is anything negative just gets swept under the rug. My problem is that there is only so much you can sweep under a rug. I know that what I need to learn how to do is release it in a healthy way so that I can be open to peace. When I figure that part out i will be okay.

I also changed my major. Rick Scott (FL governor) is really scaring me with what he's doing with Florida's education system. Although teaching is something I really want to do, it's not really encouraging when it seems that no one in power is doing what's best for our students or teachers for that matter. I'm still going to get my teacher certification but in case teaching doesn't pan out for me like I plan I had to change to a degree program that will give me options to go in another direction if I need to. I changed to Interdisciplinary Studies. I have 2 concentrations: one in education and the other in life/biomedical sciences, and a minor: African american studies. I just dont want to be limited by having such a specific degree. It was science education before I changed it. I felt like it would limit me to the education field only. People keep saying I don't have to teach in Florida but I don't know how I feel about moving out of state.

By changing my major I only have 13 classes to take before I graduate!! So basically if I take classes this summer, the full school year, and next summer, I'll be done! I will be graduating for sure in about a year! That's pretty exciting fo me. I never thought I would make it this far and my dreams are becoming a reality! The other day I said to someone that I must be lucky to have accomplished my dreams. After I realized what I said and really thought about it, it's really not luck. I know that everything I've done has been through God's grace. Nobody can stand in front of me with a straight face and tell me that God is not real!!! My whole life is proof that He is real!! Sometimes I get to thinking that I don't deserve all of this. I'm not special. I'm no different that anyone else who is from where I'm from. I'm no different from anyone else that has the same problems I do. That's how I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life!

I really didn't know what to expect from this chapter in my life as far a being in college. I'm feeling the same way about the next chapter once graduation comes and goes. I have alot of questions but I guess that's part of my journey to me with discovering who I am. At the end of the day I just want to be great and do great things. I want to be remembered for the lives that I will someday change.

Reading my posts from December until now, I can see the growth within myself. I hope that it radiates outward and encourages someone else on their journey!

~LaDai

Can't we just agree to disagree??

I'm pretty much an open minded person. I don't mind talking to people who can express themselves and possibly change my mind. But there's a line that can't be crossed if someone isn't willing to change their mind. I would never force my opinion on someone and I wouldn't want another person to force theirs on me. So, this is the point where we agree to disagree. And it is what it is. We can go on our merry way.

However, I can't stand arguing with someone who can't agree to disagree. I don't mind a healthy debate or discussion, but everyone has different opinions. At the end of the day, if I don't agree with what someone has to say (or you don't agree with me), then we just don't agree or see eye to eye, however you want to put it. It makes no sense to keep going on and on. You have your opinion and I have mine. We've shared and that's it.

~LaDai

Happy New Year!

But anywho, I had a really good Christmas here with the family!

Growing up, Christmas means more about getting a chance to come home and spend some quality time with the people I care most about. I was really suprised with gifts this year. I got a speeding ticket a couple weeks ago that my amazing mother paid for, so I really wasn't expecting anything more. That was enough for me! So the gifts I got, meant alot to me. Some cd's (my parents know I love music), books, scented things, and jewelry. I also got a new car right before the New Year! Gotta love ma and pops, they take good care of their baby girl!

New Year was especially great! I spent time with a good friend of mine. Brought in the New Year at a party with her. Just had FUN! And I also spent some time with another "friend" of mine (lol)...my sweetheart! ...That's another story for another time!

Other than that, things are pretty good! I'm too excited to get back to school and get back with all my roommates. I'm sure it's going to be a pretty exciting semester! I'm also planning to get into a good workout routine...We'll see how that goes, also!

~LaDai

Journey to Me

Well, I haven't had much going on lately...

A couple weeks ago, I had a revelation about myself, just some unhealthy habits that needed to be changed. I am currently working on that. So here it is...I wrote this on Christmas Eve:

"I’m trying my best to take a healthy approach to changing this. I want to be a more open person, able to share my feelings and what I’m going through, be more understanding of others, as well as empathetic. I think that by changing my emotional process, I’ll be able to deal with the things that stress me out or irritate me in a healthier manner without damaging any of my relationships with the people around me. I just want to be a happier person overall and strengthen relationships that I have with my friends."

Everyone makes a New Year Resolution, so for the New Year or not (mainly, just in general) this is my new motto for just living a more positive life:

I release all feelings of negativity from within and open myself to everything of love, joy, and peace.

You are welcome to use that also if it is going to help in your own life. I was in church one night and it just hit me that what I need to do most is to just learn to let go of the things that aren't going to do me any good, which in any case would be negative feelings, thoughts, actions, and habits!

~LaDai