Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Journey to Me
So much has happened in the past 6 months! I'm feeling a little anxious that more changes are coming. I'm at a point in my life where I just would rather not deal with anything unnecessary. If it's not going to help me move forward, then I really don't need it in my life right now. I've been through so much drama, lost friends, I've fallen in love, and I'm still just trying to keep my priorities straight with school and accomplishing my goals so I can live my life. In the midst of all that, I'm feeling a little anxious and drained. I'm anxious for what's to come and drained emotionally of what has been. I just want to focus on being the best person that I can be for myself. Wow, I'm tearing up as I write this...I don't even know how to describe what I feel...I feel lost and I don't know where to find myself in all of this. Everything that's happened is a lesson learned and I just take the best from it and keep pushing forward.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I love me!
I think this is a pretty common topic for anybody across the board. It's really important to love yourself. I say that because although I am a very self-confident person, I realize that not everybody has that same confidence. Whether someone has made them feel bad about themselves or they are too critical of their own flaws, there are people out there, girls in particular, that struggle with self- confidence. I'm not saying that males don't struggle with this issue, I can just relate to it from a female point of view for obvious reasons...
We all have flaws, but what I learned while I was younger, is that you have to take those flaws and love them! I will use body image as a specific example. Everybody has something that they don't like about their body, even the most confident people. The difference is learning to love and embrace those flaws and becoming accepting of yourself no matter what. People want to change themselves so bad and there are billion dollar industries (plastic surgery) that feed off of those insecurities. What you have to learn is that your flaws make you who you are, they make you YOU!
If you can't love yourself past your own flaws, whether it has to do with your body image or just what you think of yourself in general, then no one else will love you. There are people out there who are so insecure about themselves that they feed off of others' insecurities to temporarily make themselves feel better and it's just sad. In feeling good about yourself, you give someone else the strength and courage to look on the inside and find something good about them as well.
We all need to find something positive about ourselves and let it shine. And the things we don't like, we need to take hold of it and just own it, learn to love it. When we do that, we free ourselves from our own limitations of what we think we can or can't do or what we should and should not look like. Every one, every body is different. Love yourself for who you are!
~LaDai
We all have flaws, but what I learned while I was younger, is that you have to take those flaws and love them! I will use body image as a specific example. Everybody has something that they don't like about their body, even the most confident people. The difference is learning to love and embrace those flaws and becoming accepting of yourself no matter what. People want to change themselves so bad and there are billion dollar industries (plastic surgery) that feed off of those insecurities. What you have to learn is that your flaws make you who you are, they make you YOU!
If you can't love yourself past your own flaws, whether it has to do with your body image or just what you think of yourself in general, then no one else will love you. There are people out there who are so insecure about themselves that they feed off of others' insecurities to temporarily make themselves feel better and it's just sad. In feeling good about yourself, you give someone else the strength and courage to look on the inside and find something good about them as well.
We all need to find something positive about ourselves and let it shine. And the things we don't like, we need to take hold of it and just own it, learn to love it. When we do that, we free ourselves from our own limitations of what we think we can or can't do or what we should and should not look like. Every one, every body is different. Love yourself for who you are!
~LaDai
Friday, September 9, 2011
Busy!
It's been a super busy semester so far, already, and it's only the third week of class. I'm taking 16 credit hours this semester, which is the most I have EVER taken in one semester. My long-term goal of finishing school has turned into a short-term goal, as my graduation date is fast approaching. It seemed like it was so far off in the distance before, now it's within sight. It's kind of overwhelming at times, but I'm getting there. After my 5 classes this semester, I'll only have 7 left. So that leaves me with 2 semesters left before I'm done. I hope to finish by the summer of next year, so I'm working really hard to make that happen. I can't believe that I'm a senior and the 4 years have gone by so quickly!
I feel how I felt when I was graduating high school. It's so bittersweet that after all of this, it's coming to an end. I've met some amazing people and I know that we'll be lifelong friends. The whole college experience in general has been a good one, for me. I'm a little bit nervous about ending this chapter and starting all over. I know that whatever comes next will be a great experience, though. I'm looking forward to it!
~LaDai
I feel how I felt when I was graduating high school. It's so bittersweet that after all of this, it's coming to an end. I've met some amazing people and I know that we'll be lifelong friends. The whole college experience in general has been a good one, for me. I'm a little bit nervous about ending this chapter and starting all over. I know that whatever comes next will be a great experience, though. I'm looking forward to it!
~LaDai
Monday, July 4, 2011
Journey to Me
I was just thinking about independence day and what it means to me. I decided to brush up on my history and read about the historical importance of today: the American Revolution, the Declaration of independence and what it meant as far as solidifying the United States as an independent country. Then I made an important decision, I am truly proud to be an an American.
Saying this out loud sounded weird to me. I have probably only said this phrase less than a handful of times in my life (that I can recall): September 11, 2001, President Obama's inauguration,...and today. And then I thought about it. How many times have I said to anyone, "I am American"? I'm black, yes. But, American? I'm not so sure. Does the fact that I was born in America make me American? Sure. If I was born in Germany, I guess I'd be German. *shrugs* What does it truly mean to be American? The few times I can recall telling anyone I'm American was meeting a group of people from the Caribbean and the first question is "What are you?" (Jamaican, Lucian, Bahamian, etc.) I would reply (as I identified myself), "I'm black," and someone would politely say, "No, where are you from?" "Florida!" LOL...I never really thought of myself as American. That's not really what comes to mind first as far as how I identify myself.
I am American and proud!
Saying this out loud sounded weird to me. I have probably only said this phrase less than a handful of times in my life (that I can recall): September 11, 2001, President Obama's inauguration,...and today. And then I thought about it. How many times have I said to anyone, "I am American"? I'm black, yes. But, American? I'm not so sure. Does the fact that I was born in America make me American? Sure. If I was born in Germany, I guess I'd be German. *shrugs* What does it truly mean to be American? The few times I can recall telling anyone I'm American was meeting a group of people from the Caribbean and the first question is "What are you?" (Jamaican, Lucian, Bahamian, etc.) I would reply (as I identified myself), "I'm black," and someone would politely say, "No, where are you from?" "Florida!" LOL...I never really thought of myself as American. That's not really what comes to mind first as far as how I identify myself.
I am American and proud!
Happy Independence Day !
Thanks to the men who were brave enough throughout the American Revolution to establish our freedoms...and the soldiers today who fight to protect them!!
I haven't posted in a while. I'm on so many different social networking sites (facebook, twitter, tumblr, this one..I think that's it lol), I figured I share enough of myself everywhere else. I've kind of neglected my blog, which is the one place where I feel like I can share my inner thoughts without worrying about a stupid character limit. Alot has changed and happened since my last post in April...
I talked about the change of major. I'm currently considering my options and trying to put together a plan for what I'd like to do after graduation in December 2012. I have recently opened up to the idea of teaching out of state. I have currently added Texas, North Carolina, and Georgia to the list of places I wouldn't mind moving to. I'd have someone I know, either family or a family friend, in each of those places. If moving can't happen for me, I'm working on making it a possibility to teach at the high school I went to. I've been trying to meet with someone to make sure I'm qualified and see what openings they may have within the next year or so. I'm realistic about the cuts in education and the fact that it may not be as easy as it sounds to get a job as a teacher. My dad proposed the idea of me joining the Navy, which I almost did right out of high school. I'm not opposed to that, but that option is only if I can't find a job within 6 months after graduation (gotta get those student loans paid!) OR if I do start teaching and maybe it isn't exactly right for me. The biggest pro for me about the Navy is that if/when I get my Master's degree, I have a sure way to pay for it without taking out anymore loans or living like a broke college student again. I just know that whatever happens after graduation, I'll be FINE!
I've also had ridiculous amounts of roommate drama. Living with friends can either go great or horrible. We've had some great times, but boy when things are bad, they're BAD. I don't really care to get into what happened.
I don't know what else there is to say. Life is good right now. Summer classes started about a week ago and are going well so far, despite how much work it is. No one said it would be easy. Once the summer term is over, I have 11 classes until I'm finished! It feels good to have come this far! This school year is going to be a lot of work. Depending on how I work my schedule, I could graduate as early as next summer. By December of next year, I'll for sure be finished!
As always, thanks for reading!
~LaDai
Saturday, June 18, 2011
My Tumblr
I have started posting here http://vivalaladi.tumblr.com/ I haven't abandoned this blog, but for more frquent updates, that's where you can find me!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Journey to Me
So it's been a while but I haven't given up. It's been a long semester and I have alot to update. I may have to come back and edit this. I'm also typing this on my iPod so excuse any typos and my horrible punctuation lol....
I have become alot better at handling my negative feelings. Ive been able to not express it so much but what I need to learn to do is really let it go. What happens is anything negative just gets swept under the rug. My problem is that there is only so much you can sweep under a rug. I know that what I need to learn how to do is release it in a healthy way so that I can be open to peace. When I figure that part out i will be okay.
I also changed my major. Rick Scott (FL governor) is really scaring me with what he's doing with Florida's education system. Although teaching is something I really want to do, it's not really encouraging when it seems that no one in power is doing what's best for our students or teachers for that matter. I'm still going to get my teacher certification but in case teaching doesn't pan out for me like I plan I had to change to a degree program that will give me options to go in another direction if I need to. I changed to Interdisciplinary Studies. I have 2 concentrations: one in education and the other in life/biomedical sciences, and a minor: African american studies. I just dont want to be limited by having such a specific degree. It was science education before I changed it. I felt like it would limit me to the education field only. People keep saying I don't have to teach in Florida but I don't know how I feel about moving out of state.
By changing my major I only have 13 classes to take before I graduate!! So basically if I take classes this summer, the full school year, and next summer, I'll be done! I will be graduating for sure in about a year! That's pretty exciting fo me. I never thought I would make it this far and my dreams are becoming a reality! The other day I said to someone that I must be lucky to have accomplished my dreams. After I realized what I said and really thought about it, it's really not luck. I know that everything I've done has been through God's grace. Nobody can stand in front of me with a straight face and tell me that God is not real!!! My whole life is proof that He is real!! Sometimes I get to thinking that I don't deserve all of this. I'm not special. I'm no different that anyone else who is from where I'm from. I'm no different from anyone else that has the same problems I do. That's how I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life!
I really didn't know what to expect from this chapter in my life as far a being in college. I'm feeling the same way about the next chapter once graduation comes and goes. I have alot of questions but I guess that's part of my journey to me with discovering who I am. At the end of the day I just want to be great and do great things. I want to be remembered for the lives that I will someday change.
Reading my posts from December until now, I can see the growth within myself. I hope that it radiates outward and encourages someone else on their journey!
~LaDai
I have become alot better at handling my negative feelings. Ive been able to not express it so much but what I need to learn to do is really let it go. What happens is anything negative just gets swept under the rug. My problem is that there is only so much you can sweep under a rug. I know that what I need to learn how to do is release it in a healthy way so that I can be open to peace. When I figure that part out i will be okay.
I also changed my major. Rick Scott (FL governor) is really scaring me with what he's doing with Florida's education system. Although teaching is something I really want to do, it's not really encouraging when it seems that no one in power is doing what's best for our students or teachers for that matter. I'm still going to get my teacher certification but in case teaching doesn't pan out for me like I plan I had to change to a degree program that will give me options to go in another direction if I need to. I changed to Interdisciplinary Studies. I have 2 concentrations: one in education and the other in life/biomedical sciences, and a minor: African american studies. I just dont want to be limited by having such a specific degree. It was science education before I changed it. I felt like it would limit me to the education field only. People keep saying I don't have to teach in Florida but I don't know how I feel about moving out of state.
By changing my major I only have 13 classes to take before I graduate!! So basically if I take classes this summer, the full school year, and next summer, I'll be done! I will be graduating for sure in about a year! That's pretty exciting fo me. I never thought I would make it this far and my dreams are becoming a reality! The other day I said to someone that I must be lucky to have accomplished my dreams. After I realized what I said and really thought about it, it's really not luck. I know that everything I've done has been through God's grace. Nobody can stand in front of me with a straight face and tell me that God is not real!!! My whole life is proof that He is real!! Sometimes I get to thinking that I don't deserve all of this. I'm not special. I'm no different that anyone else who is from where I'm from. I'm no different from anyone else that has the same problems I do. That's how I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life!
I really didn't know what to expect from this chapter in my life as far a being in college. I'm feeling the same way about the next chapter once graduation comes and goes. I have alot of questions but I guess that's part of my journey to me with discovering who I am. At the end of the day I just want to be great and do great things. I want to be remembered for the lives that I will someday change.
Reading my posts from December until now, I can see the growth within myself. I hope that it radiates outward and encourages someone else on their journey!
~LaDai
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